There’s a time in everyone’s life when they question pretty much everything about their existence. I guess my time has come. I sat in a meeting the other day and listened to my co-workers talk to one another and about one another. I could sense how each of them are intricately and emotionally connected to one other in ways that I found awesomely beautiful. At the same time, I felt like I was on the outside of a looking-glass peering into a scene of a movie that I didn’t get a part to play. I knew all the lines and who the characters were, but all I could do was watch them play out their scenes with such perfect timing and perfection. They are all beautiful, smart and caring women. I envied their closeness and power to make changes to the script. Each woman had a voice; each woman was heard. All I could do was watch the movie.
Every day I feel as though I don’t fit this mold. Maybe it’s because I don’t fit into a mold of any kind of real structure. Am I a square peg trying to fit into a round hole? Am I too laid back? Should I put more fanfare and trouble into simple tasks? Maybe what I consider simple tasks should be more difficult and I’m making them too easy? Do I simplify too much? I’ve always gone by the moniker “work smarter; not harder”; maybe I’m not working hard enough. That could be. Maybe I just don’t work hard enough.
I’m wondering if a new path is opening up for me. I hear whispers on the wind and I see small signs here and there, but nothing that is really clear enough for me to understand what I should be looking for. The universe speaks to us in a myriad of ways. There are times when we are in the right place, but we are just not working to our full potential. The universe opens up doors for us to walk through and become a better version of ourselves, so that we can function in the space we occupy. The universe also listens to us when we are struggling with our identity. When we are vocalizing our need to shift and shimmy into a better fitting life. We outgrow the life we are living then start searching for a new path to follow.
A healthy start to change is questioning our role in this world. Are we really doing everything within our power to be the best version of ourselves? I can honestly tell you that right now I feel like I’m on the cusp of being better, but for some reason I stay back in the shadows watching and waiting for something to happen. It could be because of the comfortable life I’ve settled into, then again it could be the discomfort I’ve settled into that is making me question my role in this world. Either way, I feel a change in the air and I hear the whispers of the universe telling me to pay attention to the road ahead. Life is about to be very different for me and I’m just not sure how that’s going to look, but I’m sure that it will be exactly where I need to be.